SAD RP STARTERS
"Was..I not good enough?"
"Why would you say that?"
"Was it something I did?"
"Was it..something I said?"
"How could you?"
"I don't miss you.."
"I miss you so much, my heart bleeds when I think of you.."
"It's my fault.."
"I should have been there."
"I'm..so..so sorry I couldn't protect you."
"You're dead to me."
"Maybe he was right."
"Maybe she was right."
"I'm not worth your while, am I?"
"Am I so insignificant?"
"I need you."
"It's your choice, now you have to live with it."
"I want to be once again with you."
"You choose the road, love. And I'll make the vows."
"You had it coming."
"You only have yourself to blame."
"I only have myself to blame."
"I have only tears to shed."
"My heart is black and my mind is darkness.."
"The truth is, we're both frauds."
"At least you had good intentions."
"He was too strong."
"I hate this life."
"Once something is truly lost, one can never get it back again."
"You had better start believing in nightmares, you're in one."
"Don't worry about my falling limbs and broken heart, my stitches feel no pain. I love you, that's all that matters."
"You just have to let it go."
"Some things happen, and there is nothing you can do about it."
"This the end."
"Scream all you want, no one can hear you."
"No one can save you now."
"Rest in peace."
"You will never see the light again."
"Lost.."
"Just let me die."
"Just leave me behind."
"I won't say it to him, but he's got us beat."
"There is still a way to defeat you."
"Fine, knock yourself out. I mean it."
"You're not a cat. You're a rat."
SEND ME ONE FOR MY MUSE’S REACTION
thealpharps:
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“Are you having nightmares again?”
“Anything you want to say?”
“Apparently, I need to grow a mustache.”
“Balloons? Really?”
“Be quiet!”
“But what if we get caught?”
“Can you not?”
“Care to tell me what’s going on?”
“Come find me.”
“Did you even love me?”
“Did you ever stop to think about how I feel?”
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Do you love him/her?”
“Do you love me?”
“Everyone leaves.”
“Eviction notice. It’s an eviction notice."
"Fine, I’ll go.”
“Finally!”
“Fight me for it.”
“Fuck it.”
“Get away from me.”
“Gotcha!”
“How high are you?”
“How did you get here?”
“I bought a goat.”
“If what we had was real, how could you be fine?”
“I get that you wanted to come up with the plan, but your plan is stupid.”
“I hate you.”
“I’ll bet you a dollar.”
“I said that I’m in love with you.”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“I’m not eating that.”
“Is that a chicken?”
“It’s not that I think your cooking is bad! It’s just … Not that good.”
“Jokes on me, huh?”
“Just friends?”
“Just let me go.”
“Just tell me the truth!"
"Kiss me.”
“Kicking someone is not a form of romance.”
“Let me explain.”
“Listen, it was a completely innocent gesture.”
“Maybe you should go.”
“Maybe fuck you will be our always.”
“May need you to bail me out of jail.”
“Miss you.”
“No. The answer is no.”
“Not drunk enough for this.”
“Never, ever doing that again.”
“Okay, I know this looks bad…”
“Please don’t.”
“Please stop talking.”
“Personally, I’d rather make out with a cactus.”
“Quick, I need you to bring me a bottle of bleach.”
“Quiet! Someone’s going to hear.”
“Quit being annoying.”
“Really, where were you?”
“Right. Of course it’s my fault.”
“Silly of me to think you actually cared.”
“Simple? Brushing my teeth is simple. This? This is not simple.”
“So… How’s the weather?”
“Tell me you didn’t steal someones dog.”
“There’s something wrong with you.”
“This definitely isn’t what it looks like.”
“Us? There is no us.”
“Unable to process the stupidity of what you just said. Sorry.”
“Unfortunately, she/he said no."
"Very cute.”
“We can’t do this.”
“Was it just a lie?”
“Wait, what did you just say?”
“Wait! Hold on!"
"Who the hell is passed out in the driveway?”
“What the hell?”
“Why are you naked?”
“Why is there silly string everywhere?”
“Why is there a frozen turkey in the bathtub?"
"Without you, I’m lost.”
“X-Rays? What the hell did you do and why didn’t you tell me?”
“You broke up with me. There’s nothing left between us anymore.”
“You’re leaving? But it’s taco night…”
“Zebras have nothing to do with this conversation.”
“Zelda is more important right now."
Texts from Last Night inspired text starters [nsfw and sfw]
[text]: I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
[text]: I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
[text]: We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
[text]: I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
[text]: two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
[text]: I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
[text]: Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
[text]: According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
[text]: You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
[text]: I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
[text]: What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
[text]: Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
[text]: YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
[text]: Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
[text]: I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
[text]: I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
[text]: You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
[text]: I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
[text]: I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
[text]: Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
[text]: A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
[text]: OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
[text]: Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
[text]: Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
[text]: I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
[text]: I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
[text]: Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
[text]: I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
[text]: Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
[text]: I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
[text]: When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
[text]: Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
[text]: i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
[text]: That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
[text]: I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
[text]: I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
[text]: Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
[text]: I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
[text]: Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
[text]: Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
[text]: I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
[text]: She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
[text]: We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
[text]: So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
[text]: That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
[text]: I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
[text]: Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
[text]: Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
[text]: I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
[text]: Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
[text]: I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
[text]: How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
[text]: Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
[text]: I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
[text]: You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Cooking/Baking rp Starters
"No, no, no! Don't put that in yet!"
"Are you sure that you cooked it all the way?"
"Well, something definitely smells good in here."
"Are you... baking?"
"Here, you stir this while I set the oven temperature."
"Do you wanna lick the bowl?"
"It's boiling over!"
"Uh, that looks a little... overcooked."
"You got some batter on your face."
"What is this mess?"
"Why are you covered in flour?"
"Are you sure you're supposed to add that much sugar?"
"Ouch! That pan in hot!"
"Don't take that out of the oven with your bare hands!"
"I don't think you know how to use a mixer."
"Wash your hands, and then you can help me."
"Those aren't quite done."
"Does something smell burnt to you?"
"Now, fold the eggs in gently."
